Reached a Milestone!!!! WOOP WOOP!

I said I wasn't going to do it but the temptation got the better of me... 

I weighed myself today.

I had a bad day yesterday. I am getting so impatient about this stuff. I KNOW I shouldn't. I KNOW these things take time but I'm like "hey, I'm in the right frame of mind now, lets do this. I want results NOW."   I didn't walk yesterday, I didn't even do my daily exercises. In fact, other than taking my son to the doctor, I didn't do a whole lot... I got a headache and laid down and took a nap... well, the fat fairy must have visited me in my sleep because I weighed today and I must say I am VERY excited about the number that popped up on that scale! 

Can you believe that? 296.4! I'm no longer a 300lb bitch! :) I was so excited that I weighed myself like 3 times. The only thing that changed was the first time it said 296.6 then the last two times it said 296.4... I must have lost a few ounces from jumping up and down like a crazy person. :) 319 to 296...I am at a total of almost 23lbs down! I'm sure that number will change. Probably go up a little and I am NOT going to weigh myself tomorrow or anymore this week but that number just motivated me SO much. I needed that! I told myself I was going to be super excited when I reached this first little milestone and I am. I'm really proud of myself. :)

I have a LONG way to go still. I know that but this is such an awesome start that I am just beside myself! I seriously couldn't have done it without the encouragement and support from all of you reading this and keeping up with this and I am SO thankful!

I am doing this the right way. The permanent way. Once its gone, I'm never gaining it back. I know that without a doubt. My life has changed forever. I really like it. I like the energy I have from eating clean. I like the way my face is 100% clearer and no breakouts! (even my close friends have noticed that) I like thinking about what I eat and planning awesome healthy meals and coming up with different stuff to mix in there. I am really happy. For the first time in a long time, I'm happy with ME! <3

Have A Healthy Day!
<3 Wendy

 

This is my life now...

• water and vitamins and apple cider vinegar 
• eating breakfast when I just don't like eating breakfast  
• walking and exercising 
• more water 
• trying hard to make healthy choices. 
• Ignoring the oreo pie in the fridge and passing up the diet mountain dew and going for the water at the gas station... 
• passing on the white bread when I just love white bread...
• constantly wondering if I'm doing this right... 
• waiting. 
• WAITING on results that just can't come fast enough. 
• Looking at the scale and forcing myself not to step on it every single day. 
• Spending more money than usual on food because healthy food is so much more expensive but being healthy is worth every single penny. 
• Sweating. 
• Out of breath
• lungs feeling like they are going to burst
• the tremendous amounts of energy I feel after a workout. 
• Adding to the box of give away clothes because everything is getting too big. 
• My rings twisting around my finger because they probably need to be sized down! :) 
• Seeing definition in my face and neck in the mirror 
• stepping out of the shower and actually noticing my gut going down!!! 

then I wake up and do it all over again. Its monotonous and boring sometimes but I have to keep on. I am almost at a point where I'm used to this. This is my life now.  that's not going to change and I'm okay with that... I am just being impatient. The results are coming. Slower than I want but they are showing up. I'm proud of that but I'm also very aware that I have to do this the right way or I could just gain it all back or even hurt myself in the process. My goal isn't to be "skinny" its to be HEALTHY. I have to keep reminding myself that. <3

Before Pictures... DUN DUN DUNNNNN

So, as stated in my last blog, I got "before" pictures done with the AH-MAZE-ZING Izzy Hudgins Photography. She was awesome! Well, here are a few...

my leggins were falling down lol I now can't wear those because they are too big! :) 

haha, I love these next ones... so me.

I especially love these next ones... How appropriate? Exactly what I'm doing...reevaluating! :) Love them!

 I believe this last one is my absolute favorite. :) I feel pretty in this one. I feel like I actually LOOK pretty. :)

I have such a fat face. LOL Don't get me wrong, Izzy did an AMAZING job with these and I love them... I am really hard on myself but I do absolutely adore them! :)  I'm so excited for our next session and I can't wait to see the results! Ignore my chinese eyes. When I smile, they disappear lol :)

Again, Thank YOU so much, Mrs. Izzy! You are amazing and your talent has me in awe of you. (not in the creepy stalkerish way but in the teenage girl loves one direction way, maybe... haha!) I adore my photos and I'm so grateful to you for taking the time out of your busy schedule to do this for me! <3

<3 Wendy

Me? Feeling Pretty?

Yesterday, I didn't blog. I was really busy. YESTERDAY I went to visit one of my best friends in this whole wide world, Mrs. Amy Brackett of {227 Salon}

She fixed my hair and makeup and boosted my confidence and patted me on the butt and sent me on my way... okay, she really didn't pat me on the butt but she fixed me all up and did an awesome job and calmed my nerves and I set off to have BEFORE pictures taken with Mrs. Izzy Hudgins of {Izzy Hudgins Photography}

Izzy is amazing and fun and I really loved her personality! This won't be the first time I work with her! We have decided to do another session in the middle of my journey as well as some after pictures once I reach my goal. :) Izzy's website is www.izzyhudgins.com/ Check out her amazing work. She is one talented photographer!!! I'll be showing some of her images in the near future... I'm a little nervous because I REALLY HATE pictures of myself. I can say that being on the other side of the camera was a little odd. Izzy made me feel very comfortable but it was soooo strange trying to remember to be natural but pose too and not feel like a goofball the entire time. I now know what my clients feel like, bless their hearts. :) I don't know that I'll ever get used to someone taking MY picture, but I did really enjoy my time with Izzy yesterday! She's a doll!

To Amy and Izzy: 
I am so blessed to have worked with both of you yesterday. It's difficult for me to feel pretty right now but you both worked your butts off and I really did feel pretty! I felt happy and I felt blessed! Yesterday was just the boost I needed to keep me moving forward!  

I appreciate you guys more than you even know! 

:) Check out their facebook pages and like them and tell them I sent you! :)

So, I have to admit, I've felt like I've been slacking in the exercise department. I haven't been walking once this week. BUT I have been doing the exercises and stupid squats (they will now be known as "stupid squats" and I will bitch the entire time I do them because they ARE the devil! LOL)  and crunches that Mrs. Lindy told me about this past weekend and I know I've worked something because my legs and booty are SORE today! :) YAY! Maybe me feeling like I'm slacking is just because I'm not actually AT the park walking like I normally do, but I know I'm getting just as much done by doing the 30 minutes of exercises every day. Its still so crazy how your mind can psych you out during this whole process.

I have been eating just like always but I haven't been posting many pictures of my recipes because I've been slammed with work. I did notice while photographing a newborn on Tuesday that I wasn't so out of breath and tired afterwards. (newborns are HARD work for those of you that don't know... before, a newborn session would leave me sweating and breathless and exhausted. This one did leave me tired but not nearly as worn out as before. So, I can tell a difference in my endurance!!!)

I haven't weighed myself and I'm not going to. I actually want to wait for September 1st to weigh. I don't exactly know why, but September 1st sounded good to me! :) ANNND promised myself to not get discouraged at the number that pops up on that day! That number DOES NOT define me. It motivates me and keeps me informed but it doesn't have any control over me.

I have been drinking my water but not as much as last week, so I'll be working on stepping that up. I have to learn how to keep doing what I need to do despite the fact that I'm busier this week than I was last week... I'm working on it, I promise.

This week I've been catching up on my laundry! I think I have 2 more loads and every single bit of my laundry will be done. Its VERY rare that I can say that! LOL all my friends and close family members know what I'm saying. When it comes to laundry, I don't ever feel like I'm ever going to get caught up, but I'm almost there and guess what? I have a box beside my front door that has clothes in it that are TOO BIG FOR ME!!! How awesome is that? They are really just too big and I won't ever be in that size again. That makes me happy yet its hard to wrap my brain around. I'm really doing this. I'm getting smaller! :)

Alright, I've rambled on enough, I guess. Time to get back to editing and laundry. The rest of my week and weekend is packed full of sessions and events so if I don't post every day this week, I apologize.

Have A Healthy Day!

<3 Wendy

Emotional Day {Not weight loss related really}

See that smile? That smile would brighten up the day of anyone who laid eyes on it. That's my grandma. Mrs. Julia Conley Ennis. She was the sweetest person you will ever meet. She never met a stranger and loved babies. The only thing she loved more than babies was holding and loving on babies! She always insisted that you called her "Grandma" or "Granny" (even if you just met) and never "Mrs. Ennis" :)

She is the epitome of love. 

I can't tell you how many times I left the house for my senior year of high school and clothes were EVERYWHERE in my room. It would literally be destroyed. I'd come home in the afternoons to a SPOTLESS room. My step mom would rave at how neat and tidy my room was and she would kiss me and tell me I did a great job. Grandma would be sitting in the rocking chair playing with my little brother, Cain and she'd wink at me and smile. :)

In April of this year, after a long and heartbreaking battle with Alzheimer's disease she was called home to be with Grandpa and most importantly, her beloved Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. That woman knows she loved Jesus. She was always singing hymns and her famous words "I'll see ya tomorrow, if the good Lord's willin'" :) Gosh, I miss her.

Today, my blog isn't about weight loss or my battle with getting healthy. Its about Grandma. She seemed to be everywhere today. I turned on Pandora as I was getting ready this morning and I put it on shuffle... Red River Valley came on. (Grandma would hold "her babies" and rock us and sing this song in her sweet raspy voice) I had just said to myself "this getting healthy thing is harder than I thought" as I looked in the mirror not noticing much change and feeling impatient. I stopped in my tracks this morning when I heard that song. It was almost like she was letting me know she is proud of me and that I am doing the right thing... I felt her this morning.

I took my oldest daughter to the orthopedic doctor to see about her pinky finger she broke a few weeks ago... after the appointment, we went to The Olive Garden. (no bread sticks for me today YAY!) As we were sitting there, a group of ladies from a local nursing home came in with their nurses and family members. It was like a punch to the gut. The air was literally sucked out of me.

This picture was taken the first time I went with Grandma and her nursing home group to The Olive Garden. I went several times and once to Red Lobster. The nursing home would take them on little trips (the ones that could handle the trip health wise) and a family member (or family members) were allowed to go with them and it was just a great day of getting out, spending time together and enjoying your loved ones. I really loved going with her... She was always excited to see me and her face would light up and she'd say "Well, hey there! Where's the babies?" :)

I was sitting there today chatting with Nadia (my daughter) and really enjoying our time together when 2 little old ladies from the group sat across from us. One had her granddaughter with her and was saying "This is my granddaughter. Isn't she beautiful? She's my baby" I had a lump the size of an apple in my throat. I looked out the window fighting back tears but I couldn't help it. I started crying. Nadia asked me what was wrong and I said "nothing, I have pepper in my eye" lol she rolled her eyes and said "Mama, you don't just cry for no reason. Whats wrong?" I choked out that I was fine and I'd tell her in just a few minutes. I was trying SO hard to get it under control. Finally, I explained to her about the sweet little ladies reminding me of Grandma and we spent the rest of lunch remembering her. Nadia loved her so much too. She loved helping to care for her when she was sick and she LOVED visiting her and they would literally sit and talk about EVERYTHING. Grandma always had time to sit and chat. :) 

Grandma was a hard worker. She was kind and she loved her family. She put God first in everything she did. Anyone that knew her always knew her as "the sweet little lady" and she really did just brighten your day if you got the privilege to sit and talk with her for a minute. She taught me to just love everyone. Be nice to everyone and smile as often as you can and to be THANKFUL and HUMBLE and GOOD. She left her mark on this world while she was here and that left a hole in our hearts now that she's gone. I hope she's proud of me. I hope she sees what I'm doing on this get fit journey and I hope she knows how terribly I miss her.

<3 Wendy

Forever...

I don't really feel like blogging today BUT I AM! :) I gained 2 pounds back but not from doing bad things or eating bad things... I assume its muscle building which is fine with me. It took a lot for me to get to this point. At first, I felt like crap. All this hard work and I'm gaining weight? Oh hell NAH! lol but I learned to stay away from the scale. My clothes are getting looser, my face is getting thinner. People are noticing the change in me and that's all that matters. I had a lazy day yesterday. My body needed rest. I have been working HARD to learn to listen to my body. I'm getting pretty good at that.

This weekend, a dear friend of mine came over and taught me a few exercises I can do at home and helped point me in the right direction and answered a few questions I had. I want to shout out to her (Lindy) and tell her she's a doll! I appreciate every single bit of everything you have helped me with. YOU ARE AWESOME! :)

So, remember a few blog posts ago I said I would do anything to get healthy... remember how I said if someone told me I had to drink hog piss I would do it if it ensured I'd be healthier??? Well, let me tell you guys something... APPLE CIDER VINEGAR is as close to what I'd imaging hog piss tasting like!!! haha! I started taking two tablespoons per day of that stuff... mixing it in OJ, putting it in smoothies, being a hard ass and taking it like a shot...(I don't recommend throwing it back like a shot of Jack Daniels...it made my stomach hurt... take it slowly)  NOTHING works. It's so gross. But I have researched it and it does wonders for your skin, your weight... Lindy told me about it and I did my own research. My Mema has been trying to get me to take this stuff forever... She was right. But she didn't warn me about the taste! I think I could chug down plain vinegar easier than this stuff BUT I'm gonna try it... we shall see. :)

I haven't given up on running. I am still working on it but I'm taking it sloooow.

One thing I've learned this week is I have changed the way I live my life. THIS is my life now. I do NOT have to do everything all at one time. As long as I keep my head straight, I'll do fine. I will always eat healthier (well, maybe not ALLLLLWAYS but mostly) I will always think about fitness and working out and exercise. EVERY DAY. I will forever be conscience of how I live my life because I want to increase my quality of LIFE! So what if I don't get to run in the race in the fall, I'll run one eventually. So what if it takes me 6 months to lose 50lbs THATS INCREDIBLE and I'm okay with that because I know I will not go back to my unhealthy ways. This is me. Forever. :) That makes me happy.

Have A Happy Day!
<3 Wendy

Frustration sets in...

hello all! :) I didn't blog yesterday because I was super busy. My piggy boys have a new pen (Thank you Grandy and Big Daddy) and my yard and shed and carport are 2 truck loads cleaner! We hauled off some junk and cleaned up some junk... I'm excited! Wanna know what else I'm excited about???

Its Noon in the middle of August in Southeast Georgia and the temperature at my house is reading 

72 degrees!!!!!!

 (yesterday, it said 92 at this same time)

I decided I'd start the couch to 5K today... or at least try. See, I have a long driveway between lush trees off of a main highway... I decided to just start out there... usually, I go to the park but I just got back from a job interview (details on that later) and I didn't really want to drive anywhere else SOOO I put on my runnin' shoes and started the app on my phone. I had to do a brisk walk for 5 minutes to warm up and then I jogged for a minute and walked for a minute and a half for a total of 30 minutes... the first few times, easy... but then I started over thinking it. I would start to jog and imagine myself falling and actually get scared and almost freak out!!! Not to mention my boobs feeling like they were going to hit me in the face! I decided to jog on the grass beside the driveway and I was terrified of tripping over pine cones... Is this normal? I mean, I'm a big girl and if my ass falls down, its gonna HURT. I KNOW the laws of gravity. I know that heavy things make a harder fall... I KNOW I don't want to twist an ankle or hurt myself... ack! I'm totally psyching myself out here.... I'm SO weird! It got so bad that I just walked most of the time and probably only jogged a total of like 8 minutes (with walking in between). Not exactly how I wanted to start off but I did it... I am worried when I run that I'm not doing it right??? Haha, this makes me laugh saying this but do I run on my toes, do i use the heel to toe technique? Do I breathe out my mouth, my nose, take deep breaths, shallow breaths... See what I mean??? Why am I over thinking this??? Should I just stick with walking until I lose a little more weight??? LORD HAVE MERCY!

I seriously have given myself a headache thinking about this. This is one reason why I won't go to the gym right now. I want to lift weights and work out my legs and tris and bis and gluts and all that mess but I sure as hell don't want to be doing it wrong. I've tried to google shit but I'm still not sure I'm doing it right... 

So, I guess I'll try again with the running tomorrow... maybe... I don't know. This has been a slightly tough day. I also felt a little negativity about my eating recently. I have been working on my weight loss and healthy lifestyle for about 3 weeks now. I have lost a total of 16lbs since I weighed last (I refuse to weigh again until next week) which I know isn't normal and it will slow down and blah blah blah... I'm eating healthy stuff and drinking a ton of water. I exercise 30 min or more a day. I'M NOT HUNGRY. I eat 3 good meals per day of good clean food and I eat healthy snacks. If I'm hungry, I eat... but the last two days, I added up my calories and I'm eating about 1100 calories a day. Well my gosh, a whole head of lettuce is like 5 calories and tomatos and cucumbers are little of nothing and the bread I eat is whole grain and clean but like I said, I'm NOT hungry... I don't think I COULD eat more if I wanted to... How is this bad??? I mean, yes, I know the more I work out and the more I burn the more calories I should take in but where am I going to fit that in??? 

Like I said, today has been a little frustrating. sigh...

Many people have asked me why I'm looking for a job. It has nothing to do with photography. I stay so busy with my photography that I don't have time to even mess with my fan page (I do most of my blogging and facebooking from my phone) and I stay booked up. I'm 100% happy about where I am with that right now. I have some amazing clients. :) My reasons are personal. I don't care to disclose that here but my close friends and family are aware. The type of job I'm applying for will not interfere in my photography...in fact, it will only help it! :) 

Anyway, that's all I have to say about that. I guess its back to google for figuring out these concerns I have with my food and my miserable attempts at running, lol. 

Have A Healthy Day!

<3 Wendy