Emotional Day {Not weight loss related really}

See that smile? That smile would brighten up the day of anyone who laid eyes on it. That's my grandma. Mrs. Julia Conley Ennis. She was the sweetest person you will ever meet. She never met a stranger and loved babies. The only thing she loved more than babies was holding and loving on babies! She always insisted that you called her "Grandma" or "Granny" (even if you just met) and never "Mrs. Ennis" :)

She is the epitome of love. 

I can't tell you how many times I left the house for my senior year of high school and clothes were EVERYWHERE in my room. It would literally be destroyed. I'd come home in the afternoons to a SPOTLESS room. My step mom would rave at how neat and tidy my room was and she would kiss me and tell me I did a great job. Grandma would be sitting in the rocking chair playing with my little brother, Cain and she'd wink at me and smile. :)

In April of this year, after a long and heartbreaking battle with Alzheimer's disease she was called home to be with Grandpa and most importantly, her beloved Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. That woman knows she loved Jesus. She was always singing hymns and her famous words "I'll see ya tomorrow, if the good Lord's willin'" :) Gosh, I miss her.

Today, my blog isn't about weight loss or my battle with getting healthy. Its about Grandma. She seemed to be everywhere today. I turned on Pandora as I was getting ready this morning and I put it on shuffle... Red River Valley came on. (Grandma would hold "her babies" and rock us and sing this song in her sweet raspy voice) I had just said to myself "this getting healthy thing is harder than I thought" as I looked in the mirror not noticing much change and feeling impatient. I stopped in my tracks this morning when I heard that song. It was almost like she was letting me know she is proud of me and that I am doing the right thing... I felt her this morning.

I took my oldest daughter to the orthopedic doctor to see about her pinky finger she broke a few weeks ago... after the appointment, we went to The Olive Garden. (no bread sticks for me today YAY!) As we were sitting there, a group of ladies from a local nursing home came in with their nurses and family members. It was like a punch to the gut. The air was literally sucked out of me.

This picture was taken the first time I went with Grandma and her nursing home group to The Olive Garden. I went several times and once to Red Lobster. The nursing home would take them on little trips (the ones that could handle the trip health wise) and a family member (or family members) were allowed to go with them and it was just a great day of getting out, spending time together and enjoying your loved ones. I really loved going with her... She was always excited to see me and her face would light up and she'd say "Well, hey there! Where's the babies?" :)

I was sitting there today chatting with Nadia (my daughter) and really enjoying our time together when 2 little old ladies from the group sat across from us. One had her granddaughter with her and was saying "This is my granddaughter. Isn't she beautiful? She's my baby" I had a lump the size of an apple in my throat. I looked out the window fighting back tears but I couldn't help it. I started crying. Nadia asked me what was wrong and I said "nothing, I have pepper in my eye" lol she rolled her eyes and said "Mama, you don't just cry for no reason. Whats wrong?" I choked out that I was fine and I'd tell her in just a few minutes. I was trying SO hard to get it under control. Finally, I explained to her about the sweet little ladies reminding me of Grandma and we spent the rest of lunch remembering her. Nadia loved her so much too. She loved helping to care for her when she was sick and she LOVED visiting her and they would literally sit and talk about EVERYTHING. Grandma always had time to sit and chat. :) 

Grandma was a hard worker. She was kind and she loved her family. She put God first in everything she did. Anyone that knew her always knew her as "the sweet little lady" and she really did just brighten your day if you got the privilege to sit and talk with her for a minute. She taught me to just love everyone. Be nice to everyone and smile as often as you can and to be THANKFUL and HUMBLE and GOOD. She left her mark on this world while she was here and that left a hole in our hearts now that she's gone. I hope she's proud of me. I hope she sees what I'm doing on this get fit journey and I hope she knows how terribly I miss her.

<3 Wendy