Farting. I have been known to "shake the walls of the Westin" when I fart. I have been known to "fart like a trucker" and I have been known to "blow your boots off" when I fart... I. FART. I try to be lady like and not fart in public, but my close friends, my kids, my ex husband (haha oh i bet he misses that SO much) and even my sweet boyfriend are well aware that I simply fart like a man when I fart... go big or go home, right? lol
Now, women are very sensitive about farting. They don't like doing it, admitting to it or even saying the word "fart." I was not allowed to say it growing up, but guess what, Mom, remember when you would say "when you grow up and get your own house, you can say (buy, do, live, eat) how you want but as long as you live with me, you will not say (buy, do, live, eat) that!" :) haha
fart. Fart. FART! ;)
I'm not rude, I wouldn't fart if I were in church or um... at a wedding or... in serious situations but I do fart. I don't go all honey boo boo and blast one off in the middle of a restaurant or store but, our living room, the car and quiet moments laying in bed watching tv are fair game in this family... and the point of this post is to let you know about a discovery I've made regarding farting.
Since I've been eating clean, I haven't had the victorious chance to blow the sheets off the bed with an earth shattering fart. Ask Bruce (my boyfriend) He's the one that brought it to my attention. He was very happy to discover that I haven't been farting lately. He's just mad because my farts have meaning and his are girly. ;) I haven't been rocking the panty burps like usual. And here is why. I decided to do some research on this. Turns out eating things like carbs and beans (yeah, we knew that already) and fried foods make you fart more. Eating clean is good for your farts. :) Not chewing your food well can cause you to have excessive gas because your body is working overtime to break the food down.
Here's how I figured this out. I have eaten clean the entire month of August. I worked really hard to make sure nothing that went into my body was unclean. (or i tried really hard and did really good) Then, we had a few financial issues and some other situations that took place in September and I sort of back tracked a little. I am still drinking water but the eating hasn't been the cleanest... I'll explain more on that with tomorrow's blog post. So, August was pretty much fart free. Now... let's just say I have begun the one man jazz band again and Bruce has noticed that as well... (Gah, guys are SO sensitive when you out fart them LOL)
Anyway, I know some of you are disgusted by this post and probably won't read another one or some of you are thinking I'm so nasty... those are probably the people who "don't fart" and the same people (unlike me still at 30 years old) that don't giggle when the ketchup bottle makes a fart noise. :) Truth is, everyone farts. Moms, dads, grandmas, The Queen of England, your neighbors, your pastor or Sunday School teacher and even sexy, hot Adam Levine and Johnny Depp... yep, they all fart... It's natural and your body's way of releasing gas (hydrogen, nitrogen, oxygen and even methane) but, as it turns out, eating cleaner and healthier and keeping the chemicals out of your body as much as possible help in the breakdown of your flatulence. :) That is all!
Have A Healthy Day
Wendy <3
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